And for those of us who are already with an omnivorous significant other, Ellen Jaffe Jones’ upcoming book aims to calm the challenges associated with Just as you wouldn’t go to The Heart Attack Grill (yes, this is a real place) to get a nutritious meal, knowing where to go to find people who share your values is key.In an age where the internet both connects and divides us, there are many ways to make contact with abundant vegan and plant-based networks, both in-person and electronically.Whether you live in a bustling metropolis or a small town, there is very likely a vegan Meetup near you.
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), we’ve compiled some excellent resources, sites, and advice that will leave you feeling clearer on what you want, more educated on where best to find your match, and more confident in how you present your values and reconcile those when in a relationship. If you’ve ever found yourself drawn to the relationship section of a bookstore, coffee in-hand, immersed in the Patti Stanger book about how to make yourself desirable to a potential mate or that guide on becoming a more efficient dater (no personal experience on this one or anything…), you probably already know that the first key to finding right match is getting clear on what you absolutely DON’T want and completely DO need.
I’m not talking the superficial, “I need him to be 6’3” stuff; I’m talking the substantive qualities that by experience you have found that you NEED in a partner to complement and inspire you, and the cruddy, undesirable qualities you don’t want making your life all toxic.
I can’t define these for you, but there are some exercises that can help you move toward clarity: For some folks, veganism is a dietary preference, and they don’t mind if their partner is a meat-loving BBQ pit-master, or they don’t expect others to follow suit.
For others, veganism is a principled code, a way of life, a religion of sorts that affects food, fashion, entertainment, and other decisions.
I say this affectionately, because it’s the latter for me.
Once you’ve determined where you are along this spectrum, determine your boundaries. How often has life surprised us with sterling, blow-our-minds-caliber people who fast become important to us but would never have met our initial criteria for friends or partners?
Again, no one can determine these parameters for you, but getting crystal clear on what you can and cannot tolerate is the first step in being honest about what kind of relationship you want and knowing how to find it. Many people require that their ideal partner share their faith, political leanings, and other commonalities, and veganism is no less important or valid. Life’s fun that way, and love kinda works like that, too.
Many vegans have found love and fulfillment with partners who didn’t start off as vegans or still are not.
I love the recent podcast that Colleen Patrick-Goudreau did on this topic because it emphasizes having standards, while staying open.