Finally, the Anything Else script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the Woody Allen movie starring Christina Ricci. This script is a transcript that was painstakingly transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of Anything Else. You'd be So easy to love So easy to Idollze All others above So worth the yearnlng for So swell to keep Every home flre burnlng for We'd be So grand at the game So carefree together That It Does seem a shame That you can't see Your future wlth me 'Cause you'd be Oh-so-easy to love There's great wisdom in jokes, Falk, really. We can't afford the crazy prices for the more established... I can't speak for David Dobel because I don't handle him. But I've handled Jerry Falk since he began, and with Jerry Falk, you get top-quality goods for your money. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to drop me a line. There's an old joke about a prizefighter in the ring. And his mother's in the audience, and she's watching him getting beaten up. You can buy a suit and get the same cut in a cheap fabric as you can in an expensive fabric.
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In your case, Falk, there is a seminal joke that Henny Youngman used to tell that I think is perfect. We were comedy writers trying to break into the business by writing nightclub routines for comics.
It turned out to be hebetudinous and you dumped her.
I turned down some TV jobs in Los Angeles because my shrink felt we weren't finished yet.
Similar hustlers tried to fob it off on me at Payne Whitney.
I was in the psycho ward for six months, a vacation I don't look back on with great nostalgia.
I'm not going to take an ax and split your head open. I wanted her and she left me.' And he said, 'Well, why are you feeling so intense? ' I said, 'I wanted this girl and she left me.' And he said, 'Well, we have to look into that.' And I said, 'There's nothing to look into! And before I knew it, guys from Con Ed had jumper cables in my head and the rest was... I broke up with this girl, and they put me with a psychiatrist who said, 'Why did you get so depressed, 'and do all those things you did? ' He said, 'I'll have to give you medication.' I said, 'I don't want medication! ' And he said, 'We have to work this through.' So, I took a fire extinguisher from the casement and struck him across the back of his neck. No god, no hope, just human suffering and loneliness. You know, maybe next week, if you'd like, we could drive out to watch that intellectual comedian parade his amphigories for us.