A highlight of the Invictus Games that wrapped up with a moving closing ceremony in Orlando Thursday night was when U. Now Marks is speaking out about her remarkable story.
Line up some visits to family and friends to help pass time and give you something to look forward to."— 7. I then remembered that alcohol is a depressant, and it wasn't conducive to me being 'happy girl.' So, I became more careful about the amount of alcohol I consumed."— 12. "My husband and I have not always had the perfect marriage, and we've had some serious trust issues in the past.
The trust issue presents a huge problem with deployments, and is one of the big sources of pre-deployment arguments.
But I just try to keep my husband informed at all times, and he tries to express his fears reasonably instead of with snide remarks. You just have to, whether it's kids, a job, friends or a hobby. "I'm a pretty independent woman, so that's what has helped me—I believe—get through deployments.
It was nice having the house all to myself without having him flip through the channels on the TV or other silly stuff. I had some really terrific friends and they were always there for the rough patches."— 4. "The most common emotion is one of being overwhelmed. I deal with my feelings by giving myself permission to be 'depressed.' I take off from work the first day he is gone.
With the kids and the house and no help and no relief in sight, it's often really hard to keep from being completely overwhelmed. I knew the job description when I married him, so I feel like I don't have any right to complain."— 5. I stay in my pajamas all day, eat microwavable food or order in, watch daytime TV and stay up as late as I want.
The next morning I get up and get back to my normal routine."— 6. "Get as much stuff taken care of ahead of time, so you are as prepared as you can be. You are going to have good days, and you are going to have horrible days. When you feel like you are on top of the world, you are. "I learned to accept and, yes, sometimes even ask for help from others.
Learn to ask for help (I really have trouble with this one). When the going gets tough, look for something humorous about what is making life hard at the time. Find a support group, be it online (my option) or a family support group (I would if there was one nearby)."— 10. "I would go out with friends (fellow deployment widows) on Friday nights and have a few beers, and then on Sundays I'd try to figure out why I couldn't stop crying!
"I'm stronger now when he's gone, and I don't focus as much on being left here, though I do have bouts of loneliness and frustration. I just cry all night and hug something that smells like him.
I get to yell at him even though he's not here."— 2. "The very first night he's gone, I'm out of my mind with sadness.